Things We Heart Tuesdays

Embarrassing events that have happened to the motherless Jones girls since said event:

1. Julia thinking that ounces and cups are the same thing. Therefore, she put 1 1/2 CUPS of water into her Macaroni Grill leftovers. And then wondered why they were soup-y.
2. Emily making hobo dinners in the crock pot and not peeling the potatoes. Hence dirt hobo dinners.
3. Laura thinking that we have a super sonic oven that can cook 3 lbs. of roast in 1 1/2 hours. Needless to say, our meal resembled more of this

than this:

4. Sorry, Julia, here's another one. Julia making her first chicken enchiladas ever with four cans of cream of chicken soup, and when the tortillas didn't soak it all up, putting in tortilla chips. Oopsies. We might have died from sodium that night.

On another note, other things we love:

1. That Emily's bff Sarah sent her Rainbow flip flops aka shoes from the gods.
2. The kittens aka bad ones learned how to open the door. They just hang onto the handle and it goes down and they spring out.
3. Only 1 scorpion sighting. Granted, it was right inside the back door. Still nastiness.
4. Annie started dance class.
5. Tyra Banks's new bangs. Hot.
6. Emily's color coded tv spreadsheet. Don't be jealous.
7. Boys calling other boys b****es aka The Hills last week. Amazing.

Things We Heart Tuesdays

1. Watching the kittens aka bad ones play with Polly Pockets and destroy them. Sorry Annie and Eden.
2. Living at home so my dad can fix my more than flat flat tire.
3. No scorpion sightings.
4. That it's not this same time in 2006.
5. Candy corn is at the grocery store.
6. Amazing Halloween shirts at Target that Amanda and I will wear with pride all September and October.
7. That I go to MCC now so I can TOTALLY get away with writing crappy papers and teachers praise them because I didn't write them with the stub of a pencil on toilet paper.
8. The AMAZING Halloween wreath and banner that I was given as a gift and won the other on ebay from Tammy amazingness.
9. Tomorrow.

Our new pet

So, some how our new pet escaped down the drain. Or maybe they filmed The Ring/The Grudge etc at our house.


p.s. For the record, this is not Emily's bathroom. This is Julia's.
p.s.s. If my cousins can post pictures of nasty teeth and toenails, we can post this. Sorry if you just ate.
p.s.s.s. Not even my dad will pull it out. It's that nasty.

Sad..

I title this entry: Conversations with Children that Could Be Self-Esteem Damaging

Scene: Costco
Participants: Amanda, Emily, Eden

Amanda: Look, that girl has on the same shirt as me. Too bad her boobs don't make it look weird and mine do.
Emily: But it looked like you both had the same size-ish of boobs. Maybe you just dried your shirt or something.
Eden: Emilx (that is what Annie and Eden call me), your shirt in the front is big (referring to my boobs).
Emily: Is that a good or bad thing, Eden?
Eden: It's just silly.

Scene: Native New Yorker
Participants: Emily and Annie

Emily: Annie, do I have any food in my teeth.
Annie: Ugh. Yellow.
Emily: I have yellow food in my teeth?
Annie: No. Your teeth are yellow.

Nice.

They say it's your birthday!

So, 27 years ago, Mom Jones gave birth to Emily. Tender moments. Too bad I remember when my mom turned 27 because I WROTE HER A BIRTHDAY CARD. So much for being just like her and having 50 kids at age 27. Anways, photos of the blessed event celebrated at Native.
p.s. To the person that said everything is cleaned with bathwater at Native (comment on Erica's blog). I hate you. That is all I could think about there as I ate my bathwater salad and threw my bathwater carrots on another plate.

First picture: Delia aka Pickles hating her first lemon.

Second picture: Clearly Annie didn't learn from Delia's mistake..

Next photo: Eden enjoying her favorite food group - curly fries.


Lastly, us enjoying Emily's birthday ice cream. No worries, this was just pre-birthday dinner. The actual day was celebrated by Emily getting a facial and the fam going to the movies. Loves it.

I spy with my little eye..

So, seeing that I have not been able to attend the plasma center, I thought I would give you
Tales from MCC

Entry 1: (Sorry about the members of SBE that already heard this story last night). So, I am 99.999999% sure that I saw a transvestite in the bathroom at MCC yesterday. Yes, it was the girl's bathroom. I know the signs of a transvestite. My mom/Maury Povitch taught me. It was either that or a hooker in between "appointments" but even then, it was a transvestite hooker. Serious.

More Things We Hate/Love Tuesday

Hate:

1. The fact that the scorpions at my house are seriously geniuses. Somehow they learned how to log onto the computer, find our blog, read that I always wear flip-flops at all times in our house. Then the leader of the scorpions decided to perch on the side of my flip-flop, just waiting to attack me. I am just going to start pouring liquid pool acid, or whatever is in those huge bottles by the pool, all over the place and light it on fire. Seriously.

2. There is no hot water upstairs. I never thought I would say this, but Reidster, it's time to come back from the vacation.

3. People who don't blow their nose. When I lived in Utah, I would call and talk to my brother Daniel and sister Julia. And they would need to blow their noses. And I would yell at them from 700 miles away. What is the punishment for not blowing your nose around me??? I will guaranteed chuck a box of tissues at you as hard as I can. Not. Kidding.

Love:

1. That it is a teeny teeny tiny bit starting to feel cooler/like fall. This doesn't mean that my hate for AZ has diminished at all.

2. Halloween is in exactly 64 days. Soon candy corn and milk will be consumed for breakfast at the Jones house. Yes, we consider it a vegetable. The word corn is in the title.

3. The fact that our niece, Eden, has decided her favorite drink is Diet Coke. God bless Coca-Cola. And Emily for introducing it to her. Much to her mother's dismay.

Cage Fighting Kittens

We LOVE blogger for adding video!
Here is our kittens when they absolutely loathed each other and would hiss at their own reflection just because they look identical. That's true hatred for you right there.
P.S. Our voices in the background are awkward...
Sorry about Emily's voice she promises she didn't get a sex change.
And i sound like Bart Simpson at the end..

What I Did This Summer

So, Julia, my mom, and I started a book journal. These are very helpful in that when people ask you what books are good, you can bust this out and they will either be 1. very impressed by your reading skill or 2. realize that said person reads a lot of crap fiction. So, I give you my list of books I read this summer. And their ratings. (Six stars means really, really amazing, changed my life. Most lists are rated on five stars.)

p.s. Don't try and call me a hermit. My sister already did. It's already taken.

1. Birth of Venus by Susan Dunant *****
2. The 6th Target by James Patterson *
3. The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Sutterfield *****
4. Darcy's Story by Janet Alymer ***
5. Jemima J by Jane Green ****
6. The Last Summer (Of You and Me) by Ann Brashares ****
7. Twilight (again) by Stephenie Meyer *****
8. Lean Mean Thirteen by Janet Evanovich **
9. The Uglies by Scott Westerfield ****
10. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (again) by JK Rowling ******
11. The Pretties by Scott Westerfield *****
12. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by JK Rowling ***
13. Eclipse by Stephenie Meyer ****
14. Me and Mr. Darcy by Alexandra Potter *
15. The Tale of Emily Windsnap by Liz Kessler *****

Pervy Old Men Scorpions

Scene: This morning at 5:30 am. Place: Emily's bathroom. Again.

Scorpion is slyly running towards Emily's tan towel. Emily forgets that she left her new body wash outside the bathroom. Emily sees said scorpion and screams really really loud. Scorpion must have forgotten one of the Scorpion Rules at the Jones house. Emily always has a pair of shoes nearby. Scorpion dies underneath a red flipflop. Emily now is now jolted awake and couldn't even think of going back to sleep, even if she wanted to. Pretty much, scorpion sightings can wake one up better than any caffeinated beverage. Seriously.

That makes 5 scorpion sightings in Emily's bathroom. One sighting included the scorpion hanging in between the shower curtain and liner, waving his pincher at Emily and staring at her naughty bits. The scorpions that hang out in the bathroom are definitely pervs/creepsters.

p.s. Sorry no pictures. I still think that the scorpion could come back to life after being smashed and will leap onto my face. It was flushed immediately. Back to the black light inspections.