No Shave November..

So I am going to pretend to be Julia because she won't blog about this. So apparently at Mesa High, a new tradition has formed since I stopped going there. It's called No Shave November. It's the "coolest" thing to do apparently. So Julia and her friends decided to do it. And I was so glad when it was over because then Julia wouldn't make me feel her nasty curly leg hair legs anymore. No worries, armpits were excluded in No Shave November. I guess I've been cool forever because I had the No Shave Nineties and the Twice a Month Two Thousands. Evidence of the hideousness:


And she has alerted me that there is Don't Shave December and Mustache March. Classy, MHS, classy. No wonder Mountain View always made fun of us.
p.s. No I don't abuse my kid - who knows how she got the nasty scars on her legs.

T Giving

So Julia and I were just complaining that no one has been updating their blogs. Then we realized we were the main culprits. Oopsies. So, here is T giving in a nutshell.

Us playing Scattergories before the amazing meal. Note: do not ever play this game with Devin. Here's a classic example of how he beat the crap out of us. "Things made out of metal." Ozzy Osbourne. Who would think of that? Seriously?



Secret shame: I, Emily, love touching raw meat. Really. Pretty much I should have been a serial killer/butcher/surgeon/Sweeney Todd. So if you need steaks marinated or raw meat palpitated, just let me know. Me getting the turkey ready=heaven. p.s. Even worse? I love de-meating the turkeys after we are done with T giving. And I got to do two this year and loved every minute.



Us being stoked to eat amazingness. Please note Annie's mound of mashed potatoes.



The Fletchies who assisted us in creating this magnificent meal.


How Genevieve the dog spent her Thanksgiving. Wishing she was human.

Hotness

Preview of the Jones family Christmas card. Be excited for the hotness of this card, people. It only took two different locations, two appointments, 250 pictures, and two different photographers to get a photo where we are all looking at the freaking camera with eyes open.

Spew-tah

Okay, so the amazing Utah Trip.

First, Utah greeted me with this. That's harsh, Utah. Way harsh. When I left AZ, it was the opposite of this temperature. Naughty.


First, Sarah's mom Rebecca and I had to make sure the SLC temple would be the perfect place for me to get married. It is. Now to find my destiny.

Then, we went to Sarah's house. Or maybe the house Sarah is working on for her job. I wanted to mess around and take hilarious pictures, but Sarah was serious business face. p.s. Erica, I found your future's laundry room. It's here in Park City.



"Hi. We are Justin, Amanda, Curtis, and baby Xander. We are ticked that Emily made us watch a movie about awkward bee/human love instead of graphic violence in American Gangster."
Baby Xander - "Thanks for saving my soul from eternal damnation, Emily."



The highlight of my trip. Cafe Rio Perfection. Those Mesa people need to take lessons from the Utah workers.



I now give you the segment entitled: Things We Did in Utah that I Do in AZ All the Time.

1. Having a party at the F 21. I must go to all of them in the world. Me, Sarah, Rebecca, and Aunty Kate. Love her more than life.

2. Going to Ikea. See #1 as to why we had to go.

Segment 2: Paris and Nicole choosing and putting together a dresser.

First, choosing the dresser..

Paris had an awfully hard time choosing which brown/black dresser to get from Ikea. Clearly, Mom Hilton in the background couldn't decide either. This was Mom Hilton's first Ikea experience. She was a little overwhelmed.

Then, Paris and Nicole opened the boxes.


See Paris having a hard time with the instructions aka picture lessons. Clearly this was not a challenge on Simple Life:Interns.


Nicole had to be picture taker seeing as she is having Good Charlotte's baby soon.

Paris getting stressed with the picture instructions. No words were on the book of instructions AT ALL.


Sunday we had Thanksgiving dinner with these awesome people. We all had to say what we were grateful for. The best part? Dad Sykes pretending to be Michael Scott while saying what he was thankful for.

Once again, my boobs were trying to be the center of the picture. Will they ever learn?

The rest of the Sykes, my new bff Stacey, and my not so much favorite Sykes, Otto the dog.

Warning: the following picture contains graphic violence and hate. Parental disgression is advised.


Love life that Bugman Casey is coming on Thursday. I told him I'd throw in some brownies if he would spray our house with pure acid. None of that bugman potion that takes multiple times to work. p.s. This is what greeted me when brushing my teeth this morning. But alive.

Okay, so I'm waiting for my funny to come back to post about the SLC trip. Instead, I give you
Things Heard in Biology 181

1. "So I was planning on cheating off this girl in my chemistry class, but my friend made me move over a seat because she didn't like sitting by this creep next to her. So I totally failed the test because I couldn't see the smart girl's answers."
2. "We have a quiz today? Sh**, I'm totally going to put the answers in my cell phone so I can look on it."
3. Boy saying this to girl: "What does I heart AX mean?"
Girl: "AX is a brand."
Boy: "So you really love that deodorant Axe?"
Girl: "No. It stands for the store Armani Exchange."

Party of the Year!

So while I realize that you all are on pins and needles anticipating my blog about my trip to the SLC, I realized that this blog is called the Motherless Jones GIRLS. Not Motherless Emily. So, here are photos of the girls getting ready for the biggest Halloween party of the year. Aka the Lyn Rae Halloween party.

Clearly we have yet to master the red-eye part of the camera. Here are 80s girl, Hannah Montana, Madame Pickles and Captain Butterfly.


Annie getting her groove on before going to the party. She wanted to carry a cd player with her that blared music but such thing has not yet been invented that doesn't run on 10 million batteries. Clearly, Eden is beyond jealous of the white belt.



Please look at the horse's eyes. I think it's possessed. So this party was amazing - Delia ate an entire cone of cotton candy, Annie hoarked it at our house after. What more do you need at the Lyn Rae party??

Amazingness.

So one of my favorite things to do is remember what I was doing this time last year. Last year I was here:


Where these people, the Kikuchis live. In Hawaii. And they said I can come and stay with them whenever I want. Seriously, my education at BYU was worth it just to meet these people and do things like this:

And go to amazing places like this:



Let's all have a moment of silence for the malasada donuts at Leonards. And the abundance of all things tapioca. Why I need to live in Hawaii: they are not ashamed to eat spam and they love tapioca.

But instead, I was at the coolest Halloween party of the year with these people:

Sprinkles and Three Hole Punch Jim aka Amanda and Lee. p.s. If you don't watch The Office, just stop reading this blog right now. Yes, I did think up both of their costumes. While there, we witnessed things like this


And the pregnant girl whose name I don't know carved this appropriate pumpkin:

And my favorite photo of the evening, us taking a picture acting like our costumes. I tried to look like a lush, but I don't have much experience in the area.. Amanda might have turned into a dead cat frozen in the freezer for a minute there.


And here's a close-up of my crotch area with the infamous signature. We tried to get Lee to sign it but he thought it crossed the brother-in-law "line." Clearly he's not hardcore. Nor is Amanda who spelled Halpert wrong. Whatever.

Famous

So little did you little bloggers know, but our Erica Tartaz is quite famous. We found a picture of her on the back of the comics. Note: We count reading the comics as being in touch with current events. It is the only section that is fought over at our house. What is more important, the life of Luann or Zits or some random Middle East thing? You all know the answer.



So this may actually be Amy Winehouse, but don't you see the resemblance? Minus the tattoos and serious drug problem..

These Are My Confessions..

1. I have become so addicted to diet coke I count down the minutes until I can go to work and get one at the Bread Basket next door. I swear they put cocaine in it, it is so amazing.
2. I have now switched to team "Jacob." I told my friend Theresa this at work and she said that me doing that was comparable to me telling her I decided to be a lesbian. Note: I am not a lesbian.
3. The newest cd mix I made went in this order of genres: dirty rap, Christmas, Ernie & Bert. And I love it.
4. I must get married in the Salt Lake temple. I don't care if I marry my neighbor, we are making the trek up there.
5. As soon as I get a different car to drive, I immediately try to find a song that goes along with the beat of my turn signal. Ex. The pink Prizm: a Blink 182 song. White Tahoe: Coldplay song #8 on a mixed Coldplay cd. The brownish Malibu: #11 on Transatlanticism by Death Cab for Cutie. The blue Truck: #6 on The Hours soundtrack.
6. I know who Stan Lee is and if they had comic books at the library, I would totally have read all of them.
7. I may have done that post about Mike Rowe secretly hoping that he would see it and contact me. And we would live happy dirty jobs ever after.
8. I listen to the Pride and Prejudice cd all the time hoping that Mr. Darcy will come and take me away from my crazy family.
9. I totally believe that the Loch Ness Monster exists. Read The Loch by Steve Alten and you will also be convinced. There is a website that has webcams on the lake in Scotland and I check it often to see if I can see anything above the surface.
10. I am freakishly excited to see these people exactly 2 weeks from today:


And do lots of this while I am seeing them in the SLC:

And I don't have good pictures of these people, but I am also freakishly excited to see them: Justin, Corban, Curtis, Chase, Summer, Julie, Ashlee, Megan, Rachel Sykes, Kathleen Sykes, Robbie Sykes, Bob Sykes, Aunty Kate, Otto the dog, even Daisy the dog, and the Sykes cabin in Huntsville.

p.s. Emily that I work with sadly informed me that the site we got our background off of got busted for using stuff that wasn't theirs. No more cool background.