Happy B-Day!!

So I would like to give a shout-out to one of my bffs, namely Sarah. It's her birthday today, and since I can't be with her in frozen land SLC today, I will list 24 reasons why Sarah is the coolest 24-year-old ever and things that she taught me while living with her for 2 years!!!!!!

1. She taught me that it's okay to leave glass cups in the parking lot if you are finished drinking out of them. And if you don't retrieve the cup, also okay.
2. Running your dishwasher because you are out of forks and that is all that is in the dishwasher is okay (We may have eaten out a lot).
3. Eating a pan of brownies with a fork after Fast Sunday is over is awesome.
4. Rip-out crossword puzzles from the NY Times crossword desk calendar are acceptable to do during Stake Conference. Also okay to bring to Stake Conference? Treats.
5. I learned from her that James Patterson books are amazing. She will buy them and read them and then mail them to me. Amazing!
6. When Daniel passed away and I had to be home for two weeks, she paid my rent for me and yelled at my idiot landlord for me too.
7. She will help you think of names for your cars. Hers=yog. Mine=Morton aka Mort (it was a salty car most of the winter).
8. She taught me about Farr's ice cream and let me go to her super fun cabin in Huntsville.
9. Don't get your mail until the mailbox is jam-packed and the mail person hates your guts. Then, get your mail, drive to the dumpster, and see who can get the most mail in the dumpster while throwing it out of the window of your car.
10. It is possible to go to Cafe Rio during the BYU Tuesday devotional and get to your class at noon.
11. How to pass Physical Science
12. Which steaks are the best to order.
13. You should only buy the potatoes that are already scrubbed and wrapped in plastic. Even if they are like 5x more expensive than the 10 lb bag.
14. Twist ice cream cones dipped in chocolate at Dairy Queen.
15. Cafe Rio is a food group. So is diet coke.
16. Digital cable amazingness.
17. Shows she introduced me to: Flip This House, Grey's Anatomy, SVU, CSI.
18. Hiding and watching Sex and the City while your psycho roommate is home is acceptable.
19. Also acceptable: Sonic for breakfast every Saturday morning.
20. Another acceptable thing: buying dinner with your parent's gas card at a gas station because you are both super poor.
21. Pretending to talk on the phone so those kiosk people in the mall/ward members you don't want to talk to can't harass you.
22. Dirty rap music is awesome. Embrace it.
23. Going to the JCC (Jewish Community Center) and kicking it while eating hot dogs and nachos that they bring you is highly acceptable. Even if there is a pool in her parent's backyard but no one who will bring us said nachos or hot dogs.
23.5 Who solved the urban Utah myth of Hobbitville? Sarah. She showed me where it was. Awesome.
24. Things I taught Sarah that made her a cooler person: What to do/not to do at the state fair, going to the movies in the middle of the day is highly acceptable, if someone knocks on the door you have no obligation to get it, if a visiting teacher brings someone treats and that person is not home it is fair game to eat them, McFlurries are delicious.

Happy birthday Sarah! You are the greatest!

Little known fact..

So, little known fact about the Jones girls. We LOVE the Tammy movies. Yes, they are cheesy. Yes, they are predictable. But we have been watching them since vcrs were like invented. Seriously. It is possible that when Amanda and I were younger, Amanda insisted we call her Tammy. She wouldn't answer to Amanda. And it is also possible that Amanda would walk around singing the Tammy songs. So were we so excited to find out that a boxed DVD set came out today? You know it!! So, our goal now is to get Eden and Delia hooked. They have watched some of them a few times, but we must have repetitive, extreme, "My name is Tammy and not Eden" moments. Julia and I have now set it as our goal..

Tales from MCC

So I know it's only 10:30 in the morning, but so far today at school, I have seen two amazingly blog-worthy things.

1. A boy who sits behind me in math who was positive that 9x6=56. He was positive.
2. A boy next to me at the computers in the library full on crying his eyes out while reading my space. Awkward.

More later..

Los Libros

So I decided to be like Erica and start reviewing the books that I read. Then, everyone will realize that a. I read a lot of crap fiction/shallow books and b. I am the library's best customer. The Jones family started a book journal in March of last year and it has been very interesting to count all the books we have read.

Latest book:
So it is possible that I should read more in-depth books. Then whenever I go to a job interview next, I don't have to lie and say the last book I read was One Thousand Years of Solitude instead it really being about prehistoric sharks that are trapped in the Mariana Trench and somehow get out and eat tons and tons and tons of people. (It's called Meg. And I just finished it for the 2nd time. I heart sharks.)

So Julia aka my clone and I found this book at one of our adventures to STD land aka the Mesa Public Library downtown Mesa branch. Julia read it first and said it was pretty good. She compared it to being almost as good as Ella Enchanted. No. Not at all. Here are the things I despise about books in no particular order:

1. 1. When the author gets tired of writing and just slams the end of the book together and it had nothing to do with the rest of the book (see My Sister's Keeper).
2. When a lot of the other books in a series are super sad/depressing/evil and then in the last book, the author ties it all up in a bow and makes it all happy ending and there are no loose ends (see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows).
3. When the author leaves the end open because they want to write a crappy sequel to go with the already crappy book (see Just Ella).

The next book I will review is Dead Reckoning recommended by our mom. Our mom aka SJ loved pirates more than life and the young adult section at the library. She also thought she was going to get scurvy (where you don't get enough vitamin C in your diet like a lot of pirates didn't and you die) so she would always get lime in her Cokes from Sonic. Loves it.

Tag

I was tagged, so here it goes... (I basically did this because I know Tammy doesn't think I will..)



A attached or single: single

B best friend: I have had 3 over my lifetime so I will list all: Amanda, Sarah, Emily ( not myself, my bff Emily who lives in Hawaii).

C cake or pie: Cake. Pie crust is just a plate for the pie filling. And not tasty.

D day of choice: Tuesday

E essential item: Cetaphil

F favorite color: red

G gummy bears or worms: worms. Sour ones.

H hometown: Mesa

I indulgence(s): cheese and crackers

J January or July: July. Counting the days until we can go back to the lake.

K kids: 2 girls (my younger, not married sisters)

L life is incomplete without: family, friends, plan of happiness

M marriage date: ??? ??, ????

N number of siblings: 4 sisters and 1 brother

O oranges or apples: oranges

P phobias or fears: duh. scorpions, sharks, ship sinking in the middle of the ocean and having to survive.

Q quotes: "Life is not a dress rehearsal."

R reason to smile: amazing clouds in the sky, decorating for holidays, loving life.

S season: Spring

T tag three friends: Rebecca aka Surrogate mom, Emily K, Amanda.

U unknown fact about me: I love being the oldest in my family.

V very favorite store: Eff 21

W worst habit: never washing my hair/car, having a bulimic bank account.

X x-ray or ultrasound: ??. I'm healthy. Neither.

Y your favorite food: Italian, Cafe Rio-ian

Z zodiac: Virgo.

So at times, my sisters and I try to eat "healthier." When we do this, we go on South Beach for a few days at a time, then fall off the wagon, only to get on the next week. When we are on South Beach, all males involved in our lives HATE us because we turn into psycho raving lunatics that can smell when a bag of potato chips is opened three houses down. Seriously. Your sense of smell turns into shark smell and you imagine you can smell the grease from Sonic a mile away. So, I got back on the wagon this morning. And when I came home, what was on the counter..
So Laura had been in Las Vegas this weekend and had brought home some boxes of these aka the Jones Family's favorite food on the planet. Annie could down a box in like 3 minutes if we let her. And Laura aka the Temptress chucked them at my house so they wouldn't tempt her. That little devil..

Some other interesting thoughts:

My favorite Christmas present on the planet aka the secret Santa gift I received at the Scrapbooks Etc Christmas party. My friend, Jamie, made this and all my sisters have major covet and I love it more than life. A sad note.. my jewelry is boring/only from Forever 21.

p.s. If you want to buy one, she is linked on my blog as Jamie Andersen aka Amazingness part 2.

Another interesting thought, while we are discussing my room.. My bed is a magnet for all things animal/human. Annie claims it's "cozy" and Julia won't get out of it. My bedroom is in the east wing of the house aka the Ice Palace. Yes, freezing in the winter and burning in the summer. Before I go to church, I tell all Jones people to stay out of my bed while I am gone. And when I return, what is in it? Tarzan the cat, Janeth the cat, Julia and Annie. And Annie's coloring books/crayons. This morning while I was making it, I found one of Julia's snot rags aka tissues in my bed. Not nice.

We're Back Together!!

So I was seriously seeing someone for a while and we decided to get back together. We're both really excited about it too. The last time I saw them, we were both living in Provo and hung out like every day. And a few days ago I found out that they had moved down to Mesa. I saw them last night and it was a very emotional moment. Who is this, do you ask??

Yes, the ghetto Circle K by my house now has my secret boyfriend. Redbox doesn't judge you if you rent She's the Man and Annapolis and Tristan and Isolde all at once. And it doesn't judge you if you rent She's the Man again the next day. It doesn't care if you come visit at 10 pm on a Friday night when you're bored. Because it is always waiting for you. It doesn't even care if you cheat on it with netflix occasionally as well. It is always waiting with open arms to take your debit card and charge it $1. Julia and I visited it late last night. And I wouldn't let her wait in the car because a creep was standing next to my secret boyfriend. So, with debit card in hand and crotch-kicking knee ready, we approached. And our relationship was just as it was before. I feel complete now.

5th Grade Kid

So our mom used to call our dad a 5th grade kid sometimes when he would act inappropriately. This morning was one of those times. A scorpion ran across the counter and then stove while our dad was making his toast. Reidster stabbed said scorpion with the butter knife and then turned on the stove burner and gave it a little scorching. During this event, Julia and I were screaming as loud as possible, of course. Not classy. More trashy, Reid.

Traditions! Traditions!

So, for Christmas Eve we performed our traditions:

Playing Clue and then getting ADD in .3 seconds and giving up.



(Miss Scarlet with the knife in the kitchen. Lee was closest.)

The theme of the evening. Apparently Daniel already knew because we found this in the box.


One of our new traditions - happy birthday Jesus cake!!

Delia being possessed by the devil/taking her cupcake eating very seriously.

Julia taking part in my least favorite Christmas tradition. Wrapping parents' presents at midnight Christmas eve that they chose not to deal with until then. Seriously, Reidster.

Christmas came early for me. De-meating another turkey at 11:00 at night.


And now I give you: When Hannah Montana Exploded on Annie.


And more..
There's more, but I'll spare you the monotony. p.s. My new favorite music may be the Hannah Montana cds. All 4 of them that she got. And she gets to go to the concert in Vegas. Jealous.

Julia and her head of many colors.

My Christmas present to myself: I don't have to get ready on Christmas or get out of my pajamas. Even to go to the movies. Twice. I now own the best movie ever only second to Napoleon Dynamite..

Lee and Eden having questionable mustache growth on Christmas morning..


And our newest holiday tradition: Seeing a really crappy family-friendly movie (National Treasure) and then Julia, me, and the Fletchers sneaking away to see true movie geniusness (Juno).

"You better pay for that pee-stick when you're done with it. Don't think it's yours just because you marked it with your urine!" Go and see it. It will change your life. Or be TMI and fear for Julia's innocence...

Jones Par-tay!!

Spoils from the Jones White Elephant Christmas Party:

Gifts given : Alcoholics Anonymous Bible (with a picture of Meredith attached), white hand statue reminiscent of Buster's hand chair on Arrested Development (with a picture of Buster attached), Office and Beatles and High School Musical calendars, Ralph Moody book, doctor's model of an ear, electric toilet scrubber.

Gifts received: Cattitude book, concert choir dress from Taylor Jr. High, bathroom spa treatment thing, silver frame, High School Musical calendar (we ended up giving it to Annie so she wouldn't cry), Gold Medal Gardening sweatshirt (my uncle Neil's company), ear model (Reidster actually stole it from someone else), handheld recorder with said choir's concert recorded onto it.

What now sits with pride on the mantle next to the Christmas stuff:

Not for long, Reidster. Not for long..