So the Jones family has a new motto: Classy not Trashy. And to give an example of all things trashy, here is a conversation I had with an employee at the plasma center where I donate. For those who donate plasma, you know that you have to get the employees on your good side so they will hook you up and help you out.. The woman I was having this conversation with is a rather large woman of hispanic descent..
Woman: I am so tired. I went swimming until 3 am and then I didn't go to bed until five and I had to be here at six. But luckily, I stayed at my friend's house, which is around the corner.
Emily: That's cool. You must be really tired.
Woman: Yeah, my life has been pretty hectic lately. I got in a big fight with my mom.
Emily (grasping at anything to say to comment on this, she just wants to get her plasma money and get the heck out of here. It's not like she shares anything personal with this woman): Oh really? What happened?
Woman: Well, my mom started hitting me in my face. Look. (woman has huge scratch marks across her eye and her neck, clearly done by long fake fingernails) And usually I don't cuss around my mom, I only say s*** and d*** and h***, the normal ones. Not the other ones that much.
Emily: Wow. Those scratches look pretty bad.
Woman: Yeah, so my mom started hitting my face, and I said to her "You f****** b****. Don't you ever f****** ever hit my mother-f****** face again. So then I started hitting my mom's face. And then my mom locked me in the house and called the cops. And my four year old son was there watching this all, and I had to explain that the cops might take mommy away, but it would be okay. And then my son was really sad and was saying that he didn't want the cops to take away his mommy. But then, the cops came, and they just gave me warning. So, now I am in a really big fight with my mom.
Emily (awkwardly saying this): Hmm. That's really too bad. Sometimes cops can be good and bad??
Woman: Yeah. I was totally pissed at them.
No worries, Tales from the Plasma Center will most likely become a series. So, this was the conversation that went on at 7 in the morning while Emily was just trying to get her $40 for selling her body. Not so classy.
6 comments:
This is literary GOLD. I really hope that the series continues as I would love to hear more about the drama of selling your body. Thanks for enduring these conversations so that we can all have a little comic relief. Way to take one for team blog.
Ya this is trashy. But you weren't the trashy one. She was. Next time I can give you a bruise to show her in return?
That is so funny/akward. I don't know what I would have said in that situation...crazy! Hey lets for reals get the first two seasons of Greys Anatomy! Just tell me when and I will be there!
LOL this is a wonderful, wonderful story. Tales from the plasma center: PLEASE make it a regular series, I imagine there are many more where this came from.
i'm all about the new series o' jones girl hilarity. oh how i look forward...
This is the funniest thing I have heard all week- for reals! It totally fulfilled #8 from my favorites list (see blog). I think I'm going to add another favorite to my list. And that would be "Plasma Center Employees". Even though I only donated plasma once (and once was enough for me after having the "doctor" shed dandruff on my arm immediately prior to it being stuck with a needle and having to sit there with the movie "Eyes Wide Shut" playing on every TV in the room)- anyway, but working at a plasma center has the pre-requisite of being evicted from your apartment, being abducted by aliens, having scabies, and/or punching out your mom at least once in your life. This was classic. I think you should officially begin "Trashy Tuesdays" and include plasma center stories.
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