Warning: the following picture contains graphic violence and hate. Parental disgression is advised.


Love life that Bugman Casey is coming on Thursday. I told him I'd throw in some brownies if he would spray our house with pure acid. None of that bugman potion that takes multiple times to work. p.s. This is what greeted me when brushing my teeth this morning. But alive.

Okay, so I'm waiting for my funny to come back to post about the SLC trip. Instead, I give you
Things Heard in Biology 181

1. "So I was planning on cheating off this girl in my chemistry class, but my friend made me move over a seat because she didn't like sitting by this creep next to her. So I totally failed the test because I couldn't see the smart girl's answers."
2. "We have a quiz today? Sh**, I'm totally going to put the answers in my cell phone so I can look on it."
3. Boy saying this to girl: "What does I heart AX mean?"
Girl: "AX is a brand."
Boy: "So you really love that deodorant Axe?"
Girl: "No. It stands for the store Armani Exchange."

Party of the Year!

So while I realize that you all are on pins and needles anticipating my blog about my trip to the SLC, I realized that this blog is called the Motherless Jones GIRLS. Not Motherless Emily. So, here are photos of the girls getting ready for the biggest Halloween party of the year. Aka the Lyn Rae Halloween party.

Clearly we have yet to master the red-eye part of the camera. Here are 80s girl, Hannah Montana, Madame Pickles and Captain Butterfly.


Annie getting her groove on before going to the party. She wanted to carry a cd player with her that blared music but such thing has not yet been invented that doesn't run on 10 million batteries. Clearly, Eden is beyond jealous of the white belt.



Please look at the horse's eyes. I think it's possessed. So this party was amazing - Delia ate an entire cone of cotton candy, Annie hoarked it at our house after. What more do you need at the Lyn Rae party??

Amazingness.

So one of my favorite things to do is remember what I was doing this time last year. Last year I was here:


Where these people, the Kikuchis live. In Hawaii. And they said I can come and stay with them whenever I want. Seriously, my education at BYU was worth it just to meet these people and do things like this:

And go to amazing places like this:



Let's all have a moment of silence for the malasada donuts at Leonards. And the abundance of all things tapioca. Why I need to live in Hawaii: they are not ashamed to eat spam and they love tapioca.

But instead, I was at the coolest Halloween party of the year with these people:

Sprinkles and Three Hole Punch Jim aka Amanda and Lee. p.s. If you don't watch The Office, just stop reading this blog right now. Yes, I did think up both of their costumes. While there, we witnessed things like this


And the pregnant girl whose name I don't know carved this appropriate pumpkin:

And my favorite photo of the evening, us taking a picture acting like our costumes. I tried to look like a lush, but I don't have much experience in the area.. Amanda might have turned into a dead cat frozen in the freezer for a minute there.


And here's a close-up of my crotch area with the infamous signature. We tried to get Lee to sign it but he thought it crossed the brother-in-law "line." Clearly he's not hardcore. Nor is Amanda who spelled Halpert wrong. Whatever.

Famous

So little did you little bloggers know, but our Erica Tartaz is quite famous. We found a picture of her on the back of the comics. Note: We count reading the comics as being in touch with current events. It is the only section that is fought over at our house. What is more important, the life of Luann or Zits or some random Middle East thing? You all know the answer.



So this may actually be Amy Winehouse, but don't you see the resemblance? Minus the tattoos and serious drug problem..

These Are My Confessions..

1. I have become so addicted to diet coke I count down the minutes until I can go to work and get one at the Bread Basket next door. I swear they put cocaine in it, it is so amazing.
2. I have now switched to team "Jacob." I told my friend Theresa this at work and she said that me doing that was comparable to me telling her I decided to be a lesbian. Note: I am not a lesbian.
3. The newest cd mix I made went in this order of genres: dirty rap, Christmas, Ernie & Bert. And I love it.
4. I must get married in the Salt Lake temple. I don't care if I marry my neighbor, we are making the trek up there.
5. As soon as I get a different car to drive, I immediately try to find a song that goes along with the beat of my turn signal. Ex. The pink Prizm: a Blink 182 song. White Tahoe: Coldplay song #8 on a mixed Coldplay cd. The brownish Malibu: #11 on Transatlanticism by Death Cab for Cutie. The blue Truck: #6 on The Hours soundtrack.
6. I know who Stan Lee is and if they had comic books at the library, I would totally have read all of them.
7. I may have done that post about Mike Rowe secretly hoping that he would see it and contact me. And we would live happy dirty jobs ever after.
8. I listen to the Pride and Prejudice cd all the time hoping that Mr. Darcy will come and take me away from my crazy family.
9. I totally believe that the Loch Ness Monster exists. Read The Loch by Steve Alten and you will also be convinced. There is a website that has webcams on the lake in Scotland and I check it often to see if I can see anything above the surface.
10. I am freakishly excited to see these people exactly 2 weeks from today:


And do lots of this while I am seeing them in the SLC:

And I don't have good pictures of these people, but I am also freakishly excited to see them: Justin, Corban, Curtis, Chase, Summer, Julie, Ashlee, Megan, Rachel Sykes, Kathleen Sykes, Robbie Sykes, Bob Sykes, Aunty Kate, Otto the dog, even Daisy the dog, and the Sykes cabin in Huntsville.

p.s. Emily that I work with sadly informed me that the site we got our background off of got busted for using stuff that wasn't theirs. No more cool background.

Lament

Not lame: Ditching your spanish class.
Lame: Going to spanish class the next day to find out that they decided to cancel class.
Not lame: Instead of doing your homework, create a new blog post.
Only in AZ: Decide the only way you can force yourself to do your homework is to lay by the pool while doing it.

Right Now for Mesa, AZ (85204)
Sunny 75°F Feels Like 75°F

Why we don't blog about our "awesome" weekend

This is what we do on the weekend.

Julia trying to finish Harry Potter #7. Yes, the rest of the world did this in July. Pretty much she has to read it as fast as possible because I am going to tell her the end. She had 3 months.


Annie doing her favorite pasttime. Eating pretzels and watching The Disney Channel. She does refer to time as 8/7 central. Maybe she watches it too much.




Me studying my life away so I can pass Anatomy. And trying to decide how much to pay for the new Radiohead cd.


For all you non Arizona-ans, this is known as scalping your lawn and replanting it. Like we did this, Reidster took care of it.

Orchestra

So because I am the awesome sister that I am, I suckered sister Laura into going to MCC night orchestra with me. And let's just say the orch dorks and band geeks were living up to their full potential last night. Reasons why:

1. Two girls were having a serious conversation about a new fantasy book that came out that they were so excited for. Something about half human/half animal people. And the genre of book was paranormal romance. Classy.
2. One girl was doing needlepoint when she had rests during a song. She brings it with her every week.
3. People getting freakishly excited that we were going to play the overture to The Barber of Seville. I was just a tiny bit excited.
4. Brass members who were trying to play as loudly as possible, just for fun.
5. Laura's chairpartner who kept calling her sweetheart and pointing out obvious things to her in the music. Note - this person was younger than Laura, not some sweet old lady.
6. A girl with a huge violin tattoo on her arm. That's dedication.

And Laura now realizes that every story I tell about MCC is true. And the lamest school ever.

Tagging. But not the graffiti kind.

So since people always "tag" other people, we thought we would tag ourselves with Interesting Shiz about the Motherless Jones Girls:

1. Leftovers are always approved for breakfast. I'm not talking the wimpy cold pizza. I'm talking Macaroni Grill leftovers, noodles, clam chowder, you name it, we eat it. Maybe this is how Emily gets Annie out of bed in the morning..
2. If you haven't yet noticed, we love dressing animals in clothes. They don't complain. Much.
3. We secretly love dirty rap.
4. Our favorite show is secretly Hannah Montana.

While we think of more, here are some delightful Halloween craft pictures. Don't hate us because we're hot.


Note: You can't make fun of the cut-out construction paper Halloween items. The people who made them are with the man upstairs and they will make you go to he** if you mock it. Seriously. They have power.

5. Maybe we were carnies in a former life, but our love for the fair and Halloween are almost equal. Maybe we just love the whole month of October. But in order to go to the fair in the proper Jones way, you must follow these rules: 1. No eating before the fair. You must only consume amazingly huge corn dogs/piggly wiggly fries/etc. 2. You must NEVER ride on rides at the fair. They will only make you barf. 3. You must go and see all the farm animals and super weird 4-H displays and the giraffe at the petting zoo. And the kangaroos that eat your shirts. 4. You must go to the fair on the demolition derby day or the figure 8. But you must get there early because it fills up.

Here is some more attractive-ness that we made for Halloween. Fine, Tammy Newger made most of the really attractive stuff including the spider wreath and amazing Halloween folding banner.



And here is an example of our cereal bowls in the morning. Yes we are this festive.


And while Rachel gets some unattractive pictures of her posted on blogs, we thought we would post one of our sister Amanda and cousin Rebecca being festive:

And Daniel being a wizard and Annie being a runaway bride. And Julia being her true self, a cat in the background. Just a couple of kittens out on the town.... (If you don't get this, please start watching The Office asap.)