Dear world:

If you have lots of things to do, like study for finals, clean the house, breathe, eat food, work, exist, etc, do not start reading this book. It will take over your life and you will have obsession. However, world, if you have not read the prior 6 books, this book will make minimal sense. It has evil possessing powers only compared to Twilight.

Thank you,
A concerned reader

And on the 5th day...

So, a lot of the time lately, I have been feeling like this. In order to make us feel better after family members go to heaven, we buy pets. Which sounds like a good idea at the time, but not so much right now. We currently have two dogs (Pal and Genevieve), four cats (Katarina, Mouse, Tarzan, and Jane), 5 kittens (Garbage, Sprinkles, Hannah Montana, Miley Cyrus, and Snowball), Jane who is also about to explode with kittens, 5 chickens (Seurat, Ginger, Cinnamon, Brownie, and m.i.a. Armpit), a pond full of fish, and 5,000,000,000 scorpions that love to be harrassers. Incidents with pets that have only happened THIS WEEK:

1. Tarzan moved her babies and herself into the back of my closet behind the skirts. Out of all the house, she chose there.

2. Where did Tarzan have said children? Think of the most awkward place you will ever have to clean up kitten juice???? Annie's bed while Annie was having her Sunday nap. Annie woke up and started yelling for Julia and they started freaking out.

3. Whenever I get ticked at Genevieve the dog, she passive aggressively gets back at me. Seriously, if any person who is lacking a seeing-eye dog or a dog servant, please contact us and you can have her. I got mad at her for chasing the chickens, (which Genevieve also learned how to open the chicken cage this week and lets them out every time I put them away) she pulled my hose out of whichever pot I was watering at the moment. ALWAYS. Or she will pull it out of a planter, little Satan dog.

4. I was once again instructing Genevieve not to chase the chickens and Tarzan started carrying her babies out the open door into the backyard.

Seriously, you wonder who is the boss around here. I, the zoo keeper, am definitely losing.

p.s. We will post pictures of the adorable kittens as soon as our dad gives us back the camera cord and little black box thingy. He took it on vacation with him conference weekend.

The Jones Menagerie

Missing: a tan-ish chicken.
May answer to the name "Armpit"
Our stupid actually really smart dog opened up the cage and let all the chickens out and chased them around. Armpit is missing and really likes to fly around. She/he is a new chicken, we got her from a customer at SBE. If any of you Lyn Rae Square-ers see her, let us know. She/he is really soft and likes you to pet her/him. p.s. You know you wish you could think up amazing names like Armpit. The choices were Chloe (we know a child named that), Fiona 2, and Armpit. Armpit is clearly more classy.

Hi, my name is Emily and my blog has been hacked

Memo to Myself:

All things DO NOT smell like carrots.

Recent conversations with my sisters....


Emily: What perfume are you wearing?
Laura: Its that Davidoff stuff called Echo.
Emily: Its really strong how much do you put on?
Laura: On you know more then two squirts which to you equates to me smelling like the whole bottle with your freakish hypersensitive nose.
Emily: Well my freakish hypersensitive nose says that you smell like carrots.



Emily: Wo bubs, you're smelling pretty strong.
Julia: It's just bath and body works spritzer
Emily: Well you smell like a giant walking carrot



Laura: Why are geraniums so pretty but smell so gross?
Emily: IDK to keep the bees away?
Laura: Ya maybe, they make me sneeze. They smell like pepper
Emily: I think they smell like carrots
Laura: Of course you do.



Emily: I got new deodorant
Laura: Ya? is it better then the dove kind you said didn't work anymore?
Emily: Ya it works pretty good but it kinda smells like carrots
Laura: Excuse me while I strangle you through the phone for thinking everything smells like carrots, crazy.




Emily's brain thinking: Here I am walking, walking, walking to class.
Emily's brain thinking:Oh ya we are doing strep cultures in microbiology today
Emily's brain thinking: Here I am walking, walking walking into class.
Emily's brain thinking: It smells nasty in here like gross bad breath when people have nasty colds
Emily's brain thinking: Eww and it kinda smells like carrots



Insights of Emily's life that she may or may not be willing to share with the blogging world herself--brought to you by Laura Jones Fletcher

The 00's

So my brother-in-law, Lee, and I have been having a contest as to who can keep their crappy POS phone the longest. We both have the same model and while they do work, they are little strugglers. Example: no camera phone, no speaker phone, no anything. Basically a rock with numbers carved in. So Lee got a new phone from his work (a Dash) and he took pity on me that I still had the caveman phone. So that little phone pimp bought me a new one! I told him I wouldn't make out with him, or put him in my phone as "favorite brother-in-law" but he still wanted to do it. So, my old phone..
These marks are where Genevieve the dog attacked my phone after I went into the house. She was ticked that I poured water on her because she wouldn't leave me alone. She=kind of smart.

And a picture of my new 2008 phone.

Very high tech. Now I can document for the world the amazing things I have seen. Like an MCC employee playing yo-yo instead of working in the library and two pinatas in a sexual situation at Wal-Mart. Amazing. But no worries, world. I haven't completely conformed to 2008 yet. My water bottle..
And my i-pod


And someone may have told me that my camera is from the 80's.


But little by little I will add to my little collection of technology..

Emily 1, Thorny Plants 0

So this week I was playing landscape maintenance worker in the backyard. In my swimming suit. And now I know why landscape maintenance people dress like this:


So they don't end up with injuries like this after battling with the 450 foot bouganvilla in the backyard. And I only cut one down, 2 to go..


p.s. Yes I put my sheets on. They were just in the wash. I'm not a sick-o.

Egg-tastic!

So on Thursday, we decided to dye Easter eggs. And it was awesome. First, we had to put all the "pills" in the "potion" and let them fizz. Picky was obsessed. You can even get neon "pills" that make neon colors, thanks to ghetto Stapley Wal-Mart. English and spanish instructions included.

Picky pondering the fizz. Amanda looking like a sexy beast.

Eden pondering, Annie being awesome.


All our hot colors. Glass top tables rock in these situations. And when you are crafting and get glitter modge podge and diamond dust all over them. Then you just scrape it all off with a razor blade. Awesome.


Delia forgoing the typical egg dipper and using her hands. Pure genius.

Eden skanking it up in an apron. Hot.

Julia loving life and being ticked she had to leave to go to hell aka work.


Me being in a crafting picture and not wearing my 10 year old Mesa High shirt that has paint all over it. It has been the most photographed shirt thus far. That's sad.

Aftermath. Delia's hands are hot. So are Julia's.

Now on to rainbow potato salad...

Tag. I'm it.

Ten Years Ago: I was in my senior year of high school, already accepted to BYU and freaking out that I had to leave my mummykins for the first time.

Five places I have lived:
1. Mesa, AZ
2. Glendale, AZ
3. Provo, UT
4. In the Sykes' pool, SLC, UT
5. south Provo, UT

Five things on my to do list:
1. Freaking find a man so I can be a stay at home mom and hang out with my sisters all day every day
2. See a light at the end of the school tunnel
3. Go on a fabulous vacation this year
4. Pass all my classes this semester
5. Be awesome

I enjoy:
Going to the lake when it is super hot outside (but not early in the morning. I'm rather mean.), going to the movies, hanging out with my sissies, having bffs, going to dance parties with my posse, planting flowers and obsessively watching them grow and obsessively fertilizing them every week, getting tan, reading amazing books, working at Scrapbooks Etc.

Two bad habits:
1. Cussing. But the amount has gone down significantly.
2. Buying songs off i-tunes when I don't have the money to.

Five things you may not know about me:
1. I have to be to the airport two hours early. Otherwise I become obsessive and think that I am going to have to run through the airport and then I will be late and then I won't be able to go wherever I need to and I will be at the mercy of the airline.
2. I can not not not not not be late to anywhere. Except church.
3. The inside of my car must be psycho clean and have no clutter in it.
4. Basking in the sun is the only sport I play.
5. I read magazines backwards. And I read the last page of books first.

Five jobs I've had:
1. Phlebotomist - Bio-Medics. The best job ever. Working it with boys 40 hours a week. And getting paid to do so.
2. Scrapbooks Etc.
3. Paralegal at Phillips & Lyon
4. Legal Assistant at RBSA
5. Jones/Vista/Kosher Cleaners
5.5 American Eagle for like 2 weeks

Tag: Tina and Rebecca and Amanda.

Simpsons clip 8

Stupid

WHOEVER THE STUPID WANKERS ARE THAT ARE STEALING OUR HUGE EASTER EGGS, YOU ARE GOING DOWN (TO HELL).

Because who bought those eggs? Our mom. And where is she? With the man upstairs. And she is going to be ticked. We had 20 huge eggs and now we only have 5 and we had to take them back inside. And we are ticked because our mom bought them for us and we don't know where she got them from. So look out, hoodlums, because Reidster is on the rampage.

Poor little egg...all alone.


So as not to be a debbie downer post only, here is a picture of our hot Easter tree. And if they steal this shiz, I will be really ticked.