The Tale of the Toe

Not for the faint of heart...... or pregnant...... or eating.....


So you may remember this picture that was posted on this blog. Well, do we have a picture that will beat the crap out of that picture...

Glad toe:
Sad toe:
Story: So a boy in my ward was selling his 36-inch tv for only $60! And seeing that my old tv screen was truly 5 inches big/no bigger than an ipod screen, I snatched that cheap tv up! So when I went to get it, the boy told me like 50 times that the reason he was selling it was because it was so heavy. I watched him grunt it into the back of my truck while I offered to call 911 when he got a hernia. So I took the thing home and decided that it looked pretty easy to get into my car and I only had to lift it 3 feet down to the ground to get it into the house. Well, what do you know, the boy didn't have super human strength, and it was really, really, really heavy. The next scene included severe swearing and crying because I dropped the tv exactly onto my big toe. And who was home? No one. My toenail popped off and was barf hanging by a tiny piece of skin. I ran into the house and was calling Amanda/hyperventilating while trying to decide what to do. I then decided, in my deluded situation, that someone would most likely immediately try to steal the 5,000 pound tv that was sitting in the middle of my driveway. I wrapped poor little toe in a towel and hobbled back there and dolly-ed it onto the porch. Idiot. Seriously. Then what did it do that night? Freaking monsooned on tv. Seriously, tv has had a really hard life. But....it still works and is being amazing in my bedroom. Yes, I did text the boy and informed him of the sad happenings of my toenail. And got no text back. In conclusion, listen to boys when they tell you someting is heavy. Because they may be telling the truth.

p.s. My toe isn't even broken - how amazing!
p.s.s. Dr. Jake Jones - opinions about how to help my toe heal/become normal again???

This may be how I feel about the whole situation.
Dwight: Depression? Isn’t that just a fancy word for feeling “bummed out”?
Michael: Dwight, you ignorant slut.

Happy birthday!!!

Laura, it's okay, you're only turning 22. You don't need to be scared until years later!!

Happy birthday Laura! 22 reasons why we love her!!!

1. Her nickname is Tina. The llama. Like from Napoleon Dynamite. And she hates it. Best day of our life? When our mother called her it.
2. We think that she may have needed to be born a boy. Because she definitely missed out on scout camp/wrestling/fighting people. Because she LOVES to do it.
3. She HATES the smell of canned corn.
4. Milk makes up 75% of her body.
5. She's a compulsive shopper, but it usually benefits us. We convince her to buy things we want/are for us.
6. She can tell you her five year plan at any given time and loves to talk about it. My five year plan? Experience five Christmas's.
7. She is an amazing scrapbooker.
8. She enjoys having me and me conversations. Example:
Laura: Do you like how I did my hair today?
Julia: Oh my gosh, listen to what happened at school today.
Laura: Because I kind of parted it over more and put in different hair product.
Julia: At lunch, I was with my friends and.......(you get the point).
9. She hates salad but pretends to like it.
10. So in our family, you are one of two shoppers: 1. You have to touch everything in the store twice and then deliberate on what one item to get. 2. You run in and out before your car even has the chance to get hot inside. Laura is an even mix of both.
11. Laura+South Beach=not friends. Not saying that she is fat, but whenever she is on it she turns into Satan with heroin withdrawals.
12. She does her best work under extreme pressure.
13. She is very easy to peer pressure her into doing things. And it is usually to our benefit. It's surprising she didn't become a druggie in high school.
14. She can make conversation with ANYONE for like 10 hours.
15. She is kind-hearted enough that she will help ANYONE any time. Including homeless people, strangers, etc.
16. She is the tallest person in our family. Pro: we can always find her in stores, she will give us piggy back rides. Con: we can't share clothes.
17. She loves, loves, loves jewelry. We call her the raccoon because she loves shiny things. And she can look hot in any thing she has. Grandma Jones's costume jewelry/broaches? Looks awesome.
18. She loves every kind of music and has been to tons of concerts.
19. She can think up really fun things to do.
20. Ways she loves to torment her sisters: randomly bite them, give them hickeys on their necks "just for fun" and before important events in their lives (Julia going to EFY, Emily going back up to Utah), pull their hair, wrestle, punch.
21. She LOVES to plan out her Halloween costumes months in advance. Good thing about this? Devin loves to as well. I am positive they have known what they are going to be for months.
22. She HATES hair. That's why she has short hair/ shaves all the hair off her body/hates hair.

Laura's greatest nightmare:


HAPPY BIRTHDAY TINA!!!!! WE LOVE YOU!!!!

My Destiny

So it has been brought to my attention that I have been ignoring my true profession in life. And once I realized this, I saw that I have all the characteristics of this job.

So my awesome friend Tammy bought me a rice krispy treat from Pirates Fish & Chips on Saturday while I was at work. And while I was smelling my rice krispy treat and stating that it smelled like the fair (greasy and sweet at the same time), my friend Jamie told me I was a carny. It all falls into place now. My destiny in life!

Reasons why I am a carny:
Favorite foods:


Favorite place to go:

(The State Fair)

Favorite books?:
(Really, really good and really sad. True story.)

Book I have on hold from the library:

Favorite Disney movie:
In conclusion, if Bart and Homer can become carnies, so can I!!

And this may be my favorite new blog.

And the motto for the rest of my life:

"Carnies are born, they can't be made. The Carnival Industry has always been made up of a certain type of person. That personality is a transient by nature, not materialistic, existing for the moment. These people do it for the love of it, they need to keep moving, dreaming, living just for this day, tomorrow comes tomorrow." - from my new favorite blog.

Wait, this one is even better.... "While all my friends were going to college…getting married…having kids…I was on the road…living in Carny land, seeing the country…living one day at a time." How does this blog person know me so well????

Here's another one: "I’ve been working on my resume, it’s a little tough, and what do I write? “Professional Carny”."

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!!!!

(thanks to Reidster for helping me move the cars at 9 am this morning before I went to work.)

So yesterday Laura and I had to have a celebratory last instructional day of summer school party at Ikea. We HAD to copy her and buy one of these. FYI - there were only 4 left so giddy up and get one!

p.s. My frame will be going on the wall in my soon-to-be freshly painted bathroom. I'm thinking either fussy or piglet. For the non-SBE employees/customers,
this or

I promise the actual sheets of paper are not this intense.

EFY and my LOVE for it.

I, Julia Jones, am finally doing a new post. It is concerning the matter of EFY. Yes I am a nerd and i love EFY. I have gone for three years in a row. Usually i have a contest with myself to see how long i can leave my wrist band on. This year I took it off after one day. Probably cause it was this hideous color... WRISTBAND . Unfortunately, Emily doesn't have to ban me from a social life until i take it off. EX. Last Summer. Here are some pictures of me and some of my friends from EFY 2008.

Libby, Myself, and Lexi being awesome.

Devin, Kayla, Lexi, Libby, Me, and a fraction of Courtney and Brandon. We had to bribe a 14 year old into taking this picture and this is what we got.

Me and Lexi being mega fly.

Me, Reagan, and Libby.

Libby, Myself and the girls in our group. Yes i am in fact wearing a granny suit.

Aubrey, Audrey, Libby, and Me at the out of controllably well lit dancing atmosphere. Lets just say they didn't have to worry about any "freak dancing". Especially cause it was sound tracked by my dear friend Hannah Montana basically the whole time.

My whole entire company.
Now for the next installment of this adventure entitled Julia and her boys... First boys in my group. Then my Mesa boys.

GROUP BOYS:
GOOB wearing my granny glasses. Apparently i dress like I'm 72... Granny running suit + sun glasses = I'm dress like I'm ancient.
A series of awkward engagement picture look alikes and some even awkwarder prom poses...

Me and Austin.

Me and Riley.Me and Riley again.

Me and Rusty. He was from New Mexico and somehow had a southern accent. His favorite thing to say in his country styled twang was: i don't have a southern accent. It was entertaining beyond.

Me and Keith. I look uncomfortable in this picture... probably cause i was to an extreme power.
Me and Jake being super hardcore.
Me and my bitty councilor named Sam. He was from Cambodia. P.S. I'm wearing flats in this picture.

MESA BOYS:

Devin, Me, and Blake being babes.

Logan, Me and Tanner being particularly pretty.

My love named Michael from Orange County. Sad day when I learned of this information.
I apologize for not being very witty. I'm a tad bit tired. Sorry I'm a lame face. i also apologize for this post be extraordinarily long and obnoxiously boring. But i love EFY. Please do not judge me for that statement. My loving for EFY is for various reasons. Most importantly the whole approximately 114 hours you are there the spirit is there. It's uber fun. You get to talk to loads of people although they may be strange. And you get to work the boy scene. In conclusion EFY is one of my favorite parts of summer. In the words of Angela Celest Jones "I'm a geek..."

My newest best friend.

May I introduce you to my new best friend? I know I've had a lot of best friends, but this one is the COOLEST! Cha cha. So it is like google text but it is real people answering your questions. And it only costs the price of a text. I was sitting in anatomy summer school killing myself (note: if you want your summer to last REALLY LONG, take summer school. June has been the never ending month) and we were discussing what the logo for Circle K was. And a girl in my class texted cha cha and found out the answer. Circle K= a way to remember how the potassium-sodium pump in your body works.

Anyways, here are some questions I have asked and got answers to:
-Who would win in a fight. Batman or Superman? Answer: Superman. He is much stronger than Batman and would win hands down.
-What movie made the most money this last weekend? Answer: Get Smart with $39 million
-Who is the better band - Radiohead or Muse? Answer: While Radiohead revolutionized music, Muse does a really good job at what they do, thus Radiohead is the better band.
-How long does nail polish last until it gets all gloppy and stringy? Answer: One to two years, however if your nail polish is getting stringy, throw it away.
-Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego? Answer: With Waldo.
-What major movies come out this weekend? Answer: Wall-e and Wanted with Angelia Jolia.

Seriously, this is the best thing ever! And you can work for them too!!!

Sad

So, for Julia's birthday, one of her friends gave her the best present ever. He wrote down all the asinine questions that were asked in seminary for the whole year. The person's name has been withdrawn to protect him/her from endless ridicule and torment. Here are some gem-lets from the list.

We give you: Questions Overheard in Class at Mesa High Seminary

1. Do chickens have lips?
2. Has Armageddon already happened?
3. Is it bad to love Satan?
4. Do sister missionaries in France have to stop shaving their armpits?
5. Why are babies born naked?

My goal as a blogger: to be as funny as these people. Sometimes they are a little offensive, but most of the time it is pure genius. Note: in order to appreciate it, you must either a. read People magazine frequently and be up on the celebrity gossip and b. see lots of summer blockbuster movies.

State fair here we come!

So it is CLEAR from these pictures that Delia is half Jones. Because she knows what is the most important part of the corn dog.

Notice only one bite from the top was eaten and then she went straight for the stick crunchy goodness. Excellent job, picky. The only reason it was not smothered in ketchup was because we were going to the quilt fabric store aka children hating store.